Yin & Yang. Its A Chain Reaction…

2014-06-23-yinyang

Good morning dearest ones,

Today I’ll like us to examine the “Yin & Yang relationship philosophy”. This philosophy has been preached to me many times by my significant other and to some extent I have tried to incorporate it in my relationship.

The philosophy of Yin and Yang revolves around complementary (rather than opposing) forces that interact to form a dynamic system in which the whole is greater than the assembled parts.

You are one part of the dynamic system, while your partner is the other part. You and your partner are to meant to complement each other’s characteristics and form a dynamic unit.

The philosophy advocates that life and relationships are about action and reaction. Every reaction is caused by a previous action and a distortion in behaviour on either side would lead to an imbalance in the chemistry of relationships.

So, if you act negatively towards your partner, that person in complementary fashion should be able to respond without causing further negativity.

When two becomes one, they take the form of Yin and Yang. It’s like the sun and moon, if the sun adds one more hour to its stay in the skies then the moon looses an hour and likewise if the situation is reversed. So any action, be it negative or positive from one party causes a reaction in the next party which invariably distorts the balance in the relationship either positively or negatively.

Applying this philosophy, one can assume that whatever reaction you are getting from your partner is as a result of your direct action or inaction (either present or past). If your partner is being negative towards you, you need to review your actions and adjust appropriately because you are the Yin to his/her Yang.

Let’s apply the philosophy to a real life situation, a warm nurturing woman marries an aggressive man, she’s able to soothe him and soften his rough edges with her words and actions. Now compare this to when a naturally abrasive woman marries the-same man, the combination becomes volatile.

It is therefore necessary to review the characteristics of your partner and adjust to fit that characteristic. Relationships are supposed to be dynamic and to ensure continued peace partners most be open to adjusting.

Like the yorubas say “an outside thief cannot break into your house without having an inside collaborator. Don’t be the inside collaborator!

For singles, it is best to match up with someone who complements your characteristics.

Questions for you to ruminate on:

1. Do you see yourself and your partner as a greater unit?
2. Is your relationship balanced?
3. Have you adjusted to complement your partner’s characteristics?
4. Has your partner adjusted to complement your characteristics?

Before we act or react today, please let’s consider the effect of such action or reaction on the balance of our relationships.

Here’s wishing us all a wonderful week and a re-alignment of our relationships.

xoxoxoxo…MFA

19 thoughts on “Yin & Yang. Its A Chain Reaction…

  1. This post requires deep thought and analysis. Personally I have not taken time to consider all these factors. I met a guy who I loved and I married him simple. But ko simple beyen. Life has removed the scales from my eyes and I now need to do a feasibility study, for the sake of my sanity. Can it truly be my action that made my husband stay out all through yesterday? Maybe, as I asked him to not come back if he stays past 11. So am at fault? What about his other previous actions that led to me being so bitter? Why can’t marriage be as simple as dating was? Why most I apply a philosophy? O ti sun mi

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  2. in plain English mfa we are our own problem abi? ok. I am not sure about the greater unit. at times I think I was better off single. balanced? no. have I adjusted no, I didn’t even know I was supposed to. she has not, she does what she likes and I do what I like. maybe after a while we will adjust, but for now we are running a highly volatile ship.

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  3. yin &yang abi? oh make sense.One of the major reasons I married my wife is her conservative nature.Iam a happy go, jolly fellow, spend anything, give anything kind of guy and I always knew that the only way my life would make a meaning was to marry a no nonsense disciplined woman for my good and good of my children.

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    • No equality in marriage. Note ! It’s always a compromise. Once u know that, u can’t stay pissed. Except ofcourse, u are being abused, physically.

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  4. I think it’s d strive for equality that causes conflict in relationships. Relationships should be complementary and it takes understanding and patience.

    If he can stay out till late, why can’t I?

    Personally, being a homebody, I don’t care if he stays out late or not. As long as he’s a good boy and doesn’t overindulge himself.

    But really can two people be equal?

    If we respect each other and one does not try to control the other, I believe we will be fine.

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    • there is no equality in marriage or even relationships. when women start thinking about equality problems starts. a man is the head of the home. that dictates that his say is final. it doesn’t mean the woman is inferior it just means that there must always be a commander for peace to reign. someone must always have the deciding vote. in board meetings, the chairman is also a director must he casts the deciding vote and other board members defer to him. so wives defer to your husband. God made it that way for a reason.

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  5. Well…Im not sure I agree with the blogger.

    I agree that partners are supposed to be a greater unit but I disagree with the thinking that if Im aggressive maybe my wife should be calm OR if Im a party freak my wife should be an introvert. I see it as +1 – 1 = 0. You are hot and she is cold, the result is room temperature.

    I believe in a greater unit in that you are hot she is hot, the result is boiling water. Ofcourse in positive things. Im aggressive and she is aggressive equals an unstoppable family force. I love parties and my partner does equals a couple that makes parties rock. I love Church and my partner loves Church equal a prayer warrior family. So I see +1 + 1 = 2 Greater unit.

    In terms of reaction to a partners actions: Ill say always say, do or react appropriately. Dont over react or under react. For a healthy relationship both parties need to always tell each other the brutal truth. E.g If you are fat and you ask me if you are fat Ill say “you are fat!” Dont under react because you want your partner to feel good.

    My take on the matter.

    Peace.

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    • I think the concept of yin and yang is not about when being hot when your partner is cold.
      It’s about the dynamics of the balance of two people’s world (relationship).
      If your partner acts badly and you dont like the act then it is assumed that it is a concious or unconscious reaction to what you might have done in the past.

      Hence people should b careful in their actions and words to other people and their partners most especially. Because the result is an in-balance in the relationship and in some cases the partner never knows what has caused all the wahala.

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  6. Equality, you guys say, are couples really equal? , yes but this is not in an enforceable manner.No man can achieve much without a woman, know fact and a woman without a man is equality not complete.Yorubas say”aponle osi fun oba ti of ni olori “there us no honour for a king who has no queen.Never Try to enforce you equality, that only reveals tour weakness, there is no better way of showing maturity than by understanding. If you always scream and fight a younger brother or sister you can be sure you can not earn their respect, you earn their respect but ignoring then most of the time and chatting on the bad manner spearing. So yes you are equal but don’t do stupid things he does to proof equality as you may be proving equality in stupidy

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  7. Marriage is hard work o.I wont lie.Thank you for the advice…
    On equality.No equality in marriage.Only one head.Anything that has 2 head is tending towards abnormality.

    On complimenting,you had to be a complete person before u can complement or add to someone else.Most people dont know themselves,they come to marriage as a consumer not a contributor.meanwhile ur partner too comes as a consumer.so at the end of the day,the husband and wife is drained……from consuming each other and not contribute.

    Know thyself.Your strenght and weakness and seek your partners happiness.Pray for him or her too.

    Love U.

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  8. I have studied the concept of yin and yang and i have found that it’s a concept that does not apply to only your partner but to the next guy or girl you relate with your office or anywhere else.

    Once you met someone and start interacting, an automatic relationship is started and there is a balance created. The action of either one of you shifts the balance either positively or negatively (you either become good friends or just acquaintances).

    Good thinking, good writing.

    Ur husband must be an intellectual.

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